Drumpf comes to Mongolia to do what he does best, BUILD A WALL
A particularly ecstatic member of the popular neo-nazi party in Mongolia, Bor Khaas (Brown Swastika), in an ill-judged and drunken stupor – took to twitter last week and made an unforgettable tweet: “We are so excited that THE DRUMPF is coming to Mongolia, we will build a wall greater than the greatest wall.”
For those who have been living under the shadow of the Chinggis statue, Don Drumpf is a candidate for Presidency in the United States of America with debatable popularity. He has secured his voters bank by promising to build a wall on all sides of America to keep “lowly immigrants and rapists” out. Also the fact that he is rich; he is intelligent; and has very small hands.
We are so excited that THE DRUMPF is coming to Mongolia, we will build a wall greater than the greatest wall. #TrumpMakeMongoliaGreatAgain
As Drumpf’s candidacy progressed in USA, his flattering white supremacy comments have attracted neo-nazi’s from across the world to form a close community of ‘Drumpfators’. So it is no surprise that the Mongolian government – heavily influenced by Mongolian Drumpfators – thought of inviting him to the country and benefit from his vision of a world with big walls.
“Mongolia is a small but culturally rich and unique country, we have the Great Genghis blood that needs to be protected from the influence of our big neighbours,” said an anonymous source from the Ministry of Construction. “Don Drumpf’s method of keeping immigrants out is the best, so we obviously consulted him on improving our situation. It was clear that we needed a man of such a moral fibre.
I can confirm that the Drumpf has agreed to come to Mongolia soon after ASEM summit. We had taken the diplomatic decision to not announce this till after the summit. Personally, I think this is great news and the international community will rejoice with us. #GreatDealWithTrump
When asked if this will affect trade, especially since 90% of all Mongolian exports go to China, the anonymous Minister flippantly replied, “We do trade with China despite the Great Wall of China, so they can do trade with us despite the Great Wall of Mongolia. That is just business, they need us as much as we need them. After all, where will they get their copper from, Australia? I don’t think so.”
We do trade with China despite the Great Wall of China, so they can do trade with us despite the Great Wall of Mongolia. That is just business, they need us as much as we need them. After all, where will they get their copper from, Australia? I don’t think so.
Don Drumpf also took to twitter yesterday to confirm the news beyond any doubt. “I will build a great wall – and nobody builds walls better than me, believe me – and I’ll build them very inexpensively. I will build a great, great wall on [your] southern border, and I will make [China] pay for that wall. Mark my words.” When asked how exactly would he make the Chinese pay, he boldly replied, “Not because I don’t have a foolproof plan, I do, but I’m not going to tell you, I’m withholding it for now, because I am a tremendous strategist.”
It is said that, in addition to drawing the plans and handling the diplomatic discussions with China, he will also act as spokesperson of the Government. He is furthermore planning to develop capacity in Mongolia by opening a branch of his world renowned “Drumpf University” which provides amazing value education and the world’s best steaks. It is rumoured that his contributions will be honoured by erecting a 100 feet statue of him along the entrance of the wall. He will be dressed as a Mongolian warrior looking threateningly at anyone who tries to enter Mongolia. Obviously, the wall will need no additional military outposts.
In summer I meet lots of tourists who ask me if I’m Chinese. I’m tired of this. With the construction of the wall, it will be clear, once and for all.
In terms of financing of the project, it is speculated that 250 million USD loan will be raised from the BIDB (Barely International Development Bank) and the construction work should take a certain amount of time, considering Mongolia’s climate.
The general populace has mixed feelings about the new development. “That’s great news”, says Munkhshur, a student, “In summer I meet lots of tourists who ask me if I’m Chinese. I’m tired of this. With the construction of the wall, it will be clear, once and for all.”
But the Mongolian residents at the border are not so happy. In fact, in the frontier aimags, miscellaneous complaints have been reported about the environmental impact – notably the shade created by the wall which would make their solar panels useless – as well as the aesthetic of the project. “My khashaa is close to the border, and the entry of my ger is oriented to the South. If the project turns out to come true, it means that I will have to change it, otherwise the first thing I will see every day is the wall or the statue of Drumpf. He looks like a hairy gerbil, my children are scared of him.”SOURCE: M.A.D. April's Fool