Following critical reports about attendance levels in Parliament, the Speaker announced a series of measures to boost attendance and participation. “It is imperative that MPs be engaged with Parliament and the legislative process” he told reporters. “As such, I intend to make Parliament a more enjoyable and entertaining place to be” he went on to say. The measures are only in draft stage at the moment, but are believed to include screening of wrestling matches in the chamber, free supplies of popcorn, and a weekly spoken word poetry contest. One Parliamentarian told reporters that he welcomed the measures as they would make Parliament much less monotonous. “If MPs begin to attend sessions, we might actually be able to have a debate” he noted. This follows on from proposals that were put forward at the last session of Parliament stating that those Members who were either late or absent had to provide a note from their parents to justify their absence but this motion was dismissed as in some cases the parents were themselves also Members of Parliament. The speaker also dismissed any rumoured plans to have circus animals and clowns perform between parliamentary sessions as ludicrous “after all, we wouldn’t want to turn the Parliament into a circus”.
“As such, I intend to make Parliament a more enjoyable and entertaining place to be”
Finally, the speaker has also announced during the press conference that a permanent orchestra will be installed inside the parliament debating chamber. He said that with the way that the economy was going, some nice music would help to lift the mood and that it would help keep people calm in the eventuality that the ship of state would encounter difficult waters. The speaker was furthermore perplexed when foreign journalists present at the event sniggered when he announced that the name of the chosen orchestra was “Titanic” and that it would continue playing regardless of the economic conditions. He remarked that in any case there was no danger of a collision between the parties since they were now all steaming in the same direction but that the danger to the economy was very real indeed, he closed by saying that today’s economic situation was only the tip of the iceberg and that a considerable crash could come soon.
“After all, we wouldn’t want to turn the Parliament into a circus”
Commenting on the decision, MP Batbold-Catastrophix remarked that it was with “a sinking feeling that he agrees that MP’s really ought to take part in the affairs of state and turn up to parliament every once in a while”. He went on to say that the new measures would certainly contribute towards raising attendance, he himself submitted a bill to install karaoke equipment in the parliament chamber to make it easier to accurately repeat the words of their private oligarch advisors in an entertaining fashion but was told that it was a step too far.
Please note that this article is intended as an April’s fool article and is not meant to be taken seriously. The event or situations it depicts are purely fictional and bear no resemblance to any real life situation.SOURCE: M.A.D. April's Fool