M.A.D. is pleased on this 1st of April 2016 to release its quarterly newsletter to shareholders.
This quarter has been momentous in M.A.D.’s history, after years of work and arduous negotiations, M.A.D., a local Mongolian firm with 3M USD in annual revenues and 32 employees but with a valuation of over 30 billions USD has agreed to the acquisition (Share for Share exchange) of GLL (Global Lumber Liquidators), the leading global real estate firm, listed on the NYSE with over 2 Billion USD in annual revenues and a 150,000 employees worldwide. “Details on the merger cannot yet be disclosed but needless to say this is a win-win situation for both parties” said Christopher de Gruben, the Managing Partner of M.A.D. GLL will be rebranded accordingly and all their previous employees will now be officially MAD. “This is wonderful news for our investors and indeed for Mongolia as M.A.D. will be the first Mongolian firm to take over the world in over 800 years” stated Mr. de Gruben.
This is wonderful news for our investors and indeed for Mongolia as M.A.D. will be the first Mongolian firm to take over the world in over 800 years
In other news, we are pleased to announce that for the 75th month in a row, M.A.D. has achieved over 145% occupancy across its property portfolio. Indeed, Mr Bertot stated that the performances are up over all sectors : ”249% of the commercial properties on which we are receiving a rental payment are 127% occupied”. The Mongolian real estate environment continues to thrive, “rumours of its demise are greatly exaggerated” stated Joachim Bertot, Senior Partner. “Everyone thought it was a property bubble in 2013 and 2014 but bubbles in real estate do not exist, there is no such things” he went on to say. Mr. Bertot, a graduate of Trump University is so confident in his predictions that he has vowed to invest his entire net worth in the market and to remain in Mongolia for evermore. Mr Bertot concluded by stating that the 5% mortgage programme, was not as is often rumoured, a political ploy by the Speaker to gain electoral traction but rather a highly intelligent scheme to provide people with more debt they can’t afford to buy properties they don’t need and thus benefit domestic banks which will in turn greatly benefit the (ever so slightly) struggling Mongolian economy.
Everyone thought it was a property bubble in 2013 and 2014 but bubbles in real estate do not exist, there is no such things
This vision of the market is supported by Mr. Munkh-Please, the Mongolian Minister of Optimistic Projects, as confidence in the Mongolian investment environment has been at an all-time high. The Minister stated that “it is clear that our policies of constantly doing the opposite of what we said we would do, promoting nationalism and preventing FDI to enter the country have had its intended consequences of confusing investors to such a point that they have no choice but to continue investing”. For instance, the IMF has recently made an error in its transfer instructions and has sent 49 Billion USD to Mongolia instead of Greece, monies which Mongolia denies having ever received.
249% of the commercial properties on which we are receiving a rental income are 127% occupied
As a final point, M.A.D. asks its shareholders not to overly worry about the lack of visible progress on the M.A.D. “Tower of Doom” (http://mad-intelligence.com/tower-of-doom/). Certain financial difficulties have been encountered which are in the process of being resolved. Mrs Tsoggerel, a Senior Partner at M.A.D. stated recently that “we have now sold the building three times over to different investors but still find it difficult to build so we have recently launched a fourth round of sales and this will hopefully allow us to complete the project. And just in case this proves inefficient, a domestic bank, The DBB (Distressed Business Bank) has accepted to take the non-existent project as collateral for a third time”. Facing some critics who questions the ethics of selling the same property over and over to different individuals, Mrs Tsoggerel stated that “this is current practice in Mongolia and allows for a more liquid market, and in any case it benefits Mongolia by driving more investment into its limited construction sector”.
And just in case this proves inefficient, a domestic bank, The DBB (Distressed Business Bank) has accepted to take the non-existent project as collateral for a third time
M.A.D. would like at this junction to thank its trusty shareholders, if there are no further corporate news over the coming years or if rumours surface that M.A.D.’s senior management have relocated to the BVI’s with all our investor’s funds, we can categorically state that this is absolutely not the case, we are simply closing our main office to meditate on future strategy in peace and quiet. We ask that our investors respect our new management process.