When you think about Mongolia, what inevitably comes to mind is the endless green steppe, the eternal blue sky, and the chilly winter weather… This is the image I had in mind when I first landed on the land of Chinggis Khan a few weeks ago…
That image was blown to pieces after walking the streets of Ulaanbaatar, the capital of the country, for a couple of hours. Believe it or not, there are more Hummers than pedestrians walking the streets, and it is said that the number of skyscrapers will soon outgrow Hong Kong… Winter is chilly indeed, so the Mongolians only leave their penthouses a couple of hours a day to drive their Italian sports cars to the newest Louis Vuitton and Hugo Boss outlets, and spend some of the money that keeps flowing into their bank accounts everyday.
Mr Nobuulshett, Managing Director of the LEGO (Leverage Extreme Growth Opportunities) Fund recently commented “What we are witnessing is just insane, Mongolia will soon make Qatar look like it might need some help from the IMF to turn around its economy”.
“What we are witnessing is just insane, Mongolia will soon make Qatar look like it might need some help from the IMF to turn around its economy” Mr Nobuulshett
So what is causing such dramatic change?, we asked Mr Enkhbayar, from the Minister of Super Fast Development. “Well, first we launched the Oyu Tolgoi project (TRQ: TSX, NYSE & NASDAQ), a small copper and gold mine near the Chinese border. But that was just the beginning… When our President found the Nemo Tolgoi underwater deposit in Khuvsgul lake during a fishing trip, well, that’s when the economy started growing exponentially – big time. We added a few smart policies in the mix, and, well, we nailed it – BIG TIME…”
According to the feasibility study, the Nemo Tolgoi deposit is said to contain all precious metals found on earth, in quantities that are still unfathomable. Extracting the metals will not be easy, and will require a considerable amount of capital, but Minister of Underground Stuff Mr Enebish explained that some foreigners had already been hired to figure that out.
“The tricky part was the transportation. You have to keep in mind that Khuvsgul Lake is located almost 2000 km from the Chinese border”, nuanced Mr Kim-Sum Pak, one of the expert mandated for the special mission. “The obvious solution was to used Taepodong-1 rockets. Although they are not usable as weapons, they are perfect for such mid-distance shipping”, he concluded.
“The tricky part was the transportation. You have to keep in mind that Khuvsgul Lake is located almost 2000 km from the Chinese border” Mr Kim-Sum Pak
The Nemo Tolgoi deposit will be exploited by a joint venture between all 28 European countries, four of the word largest mining companies and the Mongolian Government, a first in the country’s history. An IPO will be launched in 2015 on the Groenland stock exchange, which alone is expected to triple the country’s GDP.
The new venture is already seeking USD 400 millions in private placements to finance the Phase I of its operations, which is the construction and underwater installation of the vodka powered Chinggis Spiders, the robots that will be in charge of extracting the precious minerals.
Mr Nobuulshett, our fund manager, concludes by saying that “Mongolia will inevitably become the most incredible cash machine the world has ever seen”. A word to the wise!
Please note that this article is intended as an April’s fool article and is not meant to be taken seriously. The event or situations it depicts are purely fictional and bear no resemblance to any real life situation.SOURCE: Global Ideas Newswire April's Fool